25 tweets about being lactose intolerant that won't give you a stomachache

http://bit.ly/2xdXkG6

25 tweets about being lactose intolerant that won't give you a stomachache

http://bit.ly/2NdjKlN

People who are lactose intolerant love to pretend they are not lactose intolerant. And who can blame them? Cheese tastes very good.

Still, it's not a good feeling (to say the least) to realize that the strawberry milkshake you drank to feel like a Riverdale character has betrayed you after all. You knew it was going to happen, didn't you? But that's the thing about risking dairy when you're lactose intolerant. You're just going to keep getting burned by the enemy. (The enemy is lactose.)

Are you currently experiencing earth-shattering regret after choosing to eat two slices of pizza for lunch? Look at these tweets — you're not alone! Yes, your stomach still hurts, but maybe you can laugh a little to ease the pain. Don't laugh too hard, though. That will absolutely make it worse.

My lactose intolerant friends: “One drop of dairy gives me a stomachache that lasts 5,000 years. The mere sight of cows riddles me with symptoms that doctors haven’t had to deal with since the dark ages. The smell of cheese alone causes me t-“

Also my lactose intolerant friends: pic.twitter.com/TXvv4odz9m

— Jack Jones (@JackAJones426) June 14, 2019

Me: Egg and lactose intolerant

Also me: One egg and cheese breakfast sandwich pls

— Girbeagly (@Girbeagly) April 27, 2019

all lactose intolerant people do is eat dairy and tweet about eating dairy. i know this because i’m one of them

— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) June 11, 2019

Show me someone who has their shit together, flawless skin, good in relationships, AND isnt lactose intolerant. You cant have all four. Not possible.

— Sydnee Washington (@Justsydnyc) May 13, 2019

no one:

lactose intolerant people:
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— javi (@bigdaddyjavii) March 26, 2019

me, a lactose intolerant: *eats cheese*

digestive system: and i (p)oop

— josué (@icedjxsue) May 15, 2019

5 years ago today, i offered my lactose intolerant friend a glass of milk. he proceeded to slap me in the face with the gallon of milk and pour the milk over my unconscious body. rt or he will be in your kitchen tonight..... pic.twitter.com/A5lU5OUToF

— malia. ? (@kinclains) June 19, 2019

Lactose intolerant farts should be known as dairy air

— kathy (@beyblade94evr) June 11, 2019

had dairy again again because I keep trying to convince my body that we're not actually lactose intolerant send thoughts and prayers pic.twitter.com/OwOapTWAgU

— Runaway Supernova (@GwenBenaway) April 20, 2019

I was Milk Tea
but you said you were
lactose intolerant
-rupi kaur

— cathy ? (@sipsbobatea) April 16, 2019

no one:

lactose intolerant people:

might fuck around &

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have a large milkshake even though im lactose intolerant

— g i z e l l e ? (@itsorcaa) April 13, 2019

I think I need to have 'U R LACTOSE INTOLERANT' tattooed to my fucking hand

— jaN.｡.:*☆ (@notcyb3rcutie) April 3, 2019

date a person who's lactose intolerant, they fear nothing, and will do anything even if it means hurting themselves in the process. I mean have you seen someone who's lactose intolerant turn down cheese ?????

— that witchy bitch (@mercstrology) June 9, 2019

i bought
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_/||
_/¯ ¯\_

milk for him
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_/¯ ¯\_

but he was
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lactose intolerant
?
?/||\_
_/¯ ¯\_

— Jerry (@Jerrypleasure) June 8, 2019

just drank a venti iced coffee from starbucks even though im lactose intolerant just to feel something

— ??????? (@charitymadison_) June 20, 2019

Me: Can I get almond milk for my coffee? I'm lactose intolerant.

Also me: OMG THEY HAVE CREME TARTS.

— Stella Chuu ?AnimeExpo (@StellaChuuuuu) May 5, 2019

if you aren't lactose intolerant in 2019 what are you even doing

— katie dey (@katie_dey) April 22, 2019

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via Mashable http://bit.ly/2DCFv97

June 25, 2019 at 08:47AM