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How to Become British Royalty http://ift.tt/2k933tD As literally everyone now knows, Britain’s Prince Harry is engaged to marry Meghan Markle, from USA Network’s Suits, carrying on the House of Windsor’s tradition of marrying out of one’s league. Markle isn’t British nobility, or British anything at all, as she was born in L.A. to two Americans. But she’s snapped up the closest unmarried heir to the throne, a big setback for everyone else hoping to join the royal family. Here are your remaining options. Buy a Title (Don’t Do This)Several businesses will sell you a tiny plot of land, and let you call yourself “Lord So-and-so.” But according to UK law, this doesn’t actually grant you any legal rights or privileges. And it certainly won’t endear you to existing nobility. For example Richard, 7th Earl of Bradford, commissioned an entire website to debunk the sale of fake titles. Whether this is respect for tradition or mere snobbery, it’s a deal-killer if you actually want to play in the big leagues with the real royals. Advertisement There’s one exception; you can buy the hereditary title of a Scottish baron for six or seven figures, with or without the associated patch of land. But even if you do this to shore up some legitimate claim to Scottish ancestry, it won’t get you any role in government the way a purely hereditary peerage will. And it’s not like the royals only consort with nobility any more. Save your money and spend it on a more legitimate method. Marry InThis option was previously only available to royalty from other nations, but as the British monarchy has become less political and more ceremonial, marrying into it has become the most popular contemporary method of joining the family. Technically, any consenting adult can marry into the family, though at the top tiers you’ll need the approval of the Queen. Advertisement The top marital vacancies at the moment are to Prince Andrew, Duke of York (50, divorced since 1996), or to his first daughter Princess Beatrice (29, unmarried). You could shop around the line of succession; you could also consider breaking someone’s engagement or marriage, but then you’ll never be a friend of the British press, which is hard enough on the well-behaved royals. Because you don’t share DNA with the current royals, this will not put you in the line of succession for the throne, but it does make you royalty (a “royal consort”), and (thanks to some reformations) it works even if you were born common, foreign, or Catholic. So long as your mate is in line for the throne, so are your progeny. But they’ll move further and further down the list as the Queen’s sons and their families keep procreating. The Queen’s daughter Princess Anne was born third in line to the throne, but her brothers’ growing families have pushed her to twelfth place, and pushed everyone else down the line as well. Given enough time and fertility, Prince Charles’s line alone will probably expand to fill the top hundred, thousand, even million spots. That’s just how populations work. We’ll get back to that later. Advertisement To marry a royal, first you’ll have to meet them, the way you meet anyone: go to school together, make mutual friends, attend the same society functions. You’re probably starting several degrees away from any actual royals, so you might need to trade up the friendship chain a bit, starting with friends of friends of friends of royals. You might start with some minor members of the House of Lords. Just take it slow and remember that you’re competing with every other social climber in the Commonwealth. Marry Your Child InOr play the long game: Groom your child to meet and marry one of the younger, or future, royals. Move to the UK, or at least send them to boarding school there. You won’t be royalty, but your child will, and your grandchildren will be in line for the throne. Advertisement So you might send your child to Prince George’s kindergarten class at Thomas’s School in Battersea, though by now you’ll be too far down the waiting list. Better to look further down the road to Eton, or apply to whichever school you expect Princess Charlotte to attend. Of course, try to hide your disqualifying thirst for the royalty. Wait for Everyone Else to DieYou could trace your own lineage to royalty, then wait for everyone in line ahead of you to die, like John Goodman in 1991’s King Ralph.
Unfortunately (as hinted earlier), over a long enough time frame, everyone shares the same ancestors. A full 80% of England’s population are descended from King Edward III. That’s four times King Ralph’s score on Rotten Tomatoes. So even those of you with UK ancestry are mostly still a few million people away from the throne. (There’s a story for that too: Neil Gaiman’s “We Can Get Them for You Wholesale.”) By the time the line of succession came down to you, there wouldn’t be much left for you to rule over. Rebel Against the CrownYou could, of course, lead a revolution against the monarchy, then start a new royal lineage yourself. That’s really the oldest way to do this, but it’s become less popular in recent centuries. The overlap between “people who don’t like the current monarchy” and “people who would welcome a new monarch” has shrunk considerably. Advertisement You could always join the UK republican movement, which plans to campaign for a public referendum on the monarchy upon the death of Queen Elizabeth II. Then no one else would get to be more royal than you (except for all the other royalty in all the other countries). Of course, this referendum doesn’t stand a chance, even in our weird post-Brexit world. And if it did occur, imagine how the public will feel when the Queen dies, and then imagine how they’d vote. You could join some other nation’s royalty and take over the United Kingdom. This used to be a popular method as well, particularly back in the beginning. But again, this has become rather difficult to pull off, and the last leader who came close to pulling it off ended up poisoning himself in a Berlin bunker. Broaden Your SearchHave you considered casting a wider net? Maybe marry into one of the couple-dozen other extant royal families? Settle for dating a dictator? Lower your sights further and merely run for President? There are a couple of elective monarchies, but we’re talking election by hereditary council, not some public write-in campaign. Monarchy’s not what it used to be; there are only seven absolute monarchies left, and one of them is the Vatican. Good luck marrying into that. Advertisement Or consider this: Like everyone else on earth, you are definitely descended from multiple historical kings and queens. And if there’s anything inherited from all that royal blood, it’s the ambition that makes you gauge your chances of moving up the ladder. Gadget News via Lifehacker http://lifehacker.com November 28, 2017 at 09:28AM
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