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The Weirdest Pitches Of 2017 That I Can Remember, Ranked http://ift.tt/2lo1ZQc Critics seem to agree that humanity's surging, litter-prone sea of written content broke its high water mark this year, and certainly no one using the web--nor any algorithm therein--escaped its crashing spray. Which pieces of op-ed driftwood or brand garbage bobbed to the surface in 2017 varied widely for each of us, of course. As a Forbes Tech writer with a few beats and several emailed cold-pitches per day, I saw a rich array of kinda-sorta-relevant or totally inexplicable gadget promos and double speak wash up in my inbox. In honor of the end of a tumultuous and decidedly frothy year, then, the following are the 11 weirdest, worst, and most worrying pitches I received in 2017 and could still manage to dredge up and rank at the end of it: in their own ways, all such accomplished and/or baffling pieces of flotsam that I either shared them with a friend (sorry Jenn) or just could never throw them out. All emailed content abridged and annotated for anonymity, and for effect. 12. RE: Slash from Guns N’ Roses Turns Into A Pumpkin In Amazing Halloween Video Well, he might have had it coming, honestly. But what do you expect me to do about it?
11. RE: Cannabis Science Conference Aims to Showcase Research in Cannabis Science I mean... wouldn't it? Further info: "The Cannabis Science Conference is the world's largest cannabis science expo aimed at improving cannabis science." 10. RE: App Delivers Surprise Christmas Messages from Loved Ones who have Passed Away! "Could an app help those who have been bereaved during the upcoming Christmas holidays?" Unless they and their loved ones are thinking about beyond-the-grave arrangements at this particular time (like me, now) only as regards holidays that are still a ways off, or the immediately unwell person adores new apps, I expect not, regretfully. I'm still on the fence about digital or snail mail posthumous delivery services, frankly, not least because many haven't stuck around. I'd think celebrities would have their own, exclusive version of this, too, or just lawyers and such. But to each their own.
9. RE: Innovating the Birthday Candle: Moms Uncover Party Solutions through Technology and Design The product is Wishful Wicks (not to be confused with Wishful Wicks, it seems): that is, "patented, battery-operated birthday cake toppers that you can actually 'blow out.' Thus eliminating dangerous situation with lit birthday candles, and creating a fun gadget for every birthday cake." Outside of pure-oxygen atmospheres, I admittedly think of traditional, low-tech, typically non-flammable birthday cakes as already being pretty safe and fun. And one of few remaining sources of joy, for what it's worth, that don't require batteries--which, unlike birthday cakes or celebrants, will likely stick around on this planet for generations. 8. RE: Xchime is now 400% Funded and Poised to Become the Leader in Video Doorbell Technologies with their Unique Set of Features Already funded, captures the spaces outside our homes on camera, lukewarmly reviewed by another site. And noted.
7. RE: TREKKIES SCRAMBLE TO GET THE FIRST TOOTHBRUSH IN SPACE Did I miss a (space) memo?
6. RE: The 'Tinder Whisperer' Shares Her Tips Not sure if I should be more put out on behalf of 'genuine' users who are contacted by or competing with this expert impersonator, love itself, or the state of my own billable hours.
5. RE: Which Cities Were Naughty This Year Ashley Madison users have already had a rough year, privacy wise (and presumably their spouses, too), so a year-end infographic on where they're cheating the hardest seemed a little, I dunno, Grinchy. And just sad.
4. RE: Apple TV Launches Plastic Surgery On Demand Of course it does. Thank you, waning stigmas, wherever you are!
3. RE: Lalafo If I had lots of stuff and a desire to frequently sell it and buy more, then hey: maybe this would be attractive. But as is, I'm scared. Skeptical and scared.
2. RE: "Cock Rings: The sexy pill-free tool to maintain arousal" I've never heard of "arousal rings," but I've definitely heard of cock rings, as well as the negative impacts that stigmatizing erectile dysfunction creates in life, relationships, and the bedroom.
Nor avoided?
1. RE: Nation’s Prominent Tech Leaders Unite to Empower Gig & Sharing Entrepreneurs Last and definitely least in 2017, in my book, is SAVANT: a platform with a fundamentally bizarre, misappropriated but increasingly common term, launched by a trio of presumably well-to-do tech guys, and which seemingly couldn't detect the national zeitgeist if they were locked in a closet together. It's one thing to recognize that the 'gig economy' has had an enormous impact in the past several years--namely, inflicted upon our wages, worker protections, national stress levels, and income inequality in this country and around the world. It is another thing to carefully consistent this tech-created state of affairs and come up with a useful solution that helps gig workers; inarguably, that solution is not "more middle men to skim off their piece!" But it's really, truly something when the man behind the necessarily wage-stagnating platform fiverr, one of the giggiest schemes out there, wants to provide--in all his net-worth-evinced wisdom--a way to better manage our desperately fragmented, low-paid, tragically solitary workloads in exchange for a few million small fees, and presumably as much of our data as can easily be vacuumed up. In general, I think someone who isn't forced to constantly debate and reassess the value of their time, skills, and work in relation to how much they need or can afford to lose $5 at any given time--as every worker on fiverr does, and I do, every day--shouldn't give advice on how to survive this process. That piece of insight, meanwhile, is shared freely, and doesn't take a genius to work out. As one former Facebook exec has thankfully pointed out this year, too, the fact remains that hard work, tech success, personal wealth, and genius actually have little to no overlap. So, better luck next year, everyone. And keep those (thoughtful) innovations coming.
Business via Forbes - Entrepreneurs http://ift.tt/dTEDZf December 30, 2017 at 02:44PM
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